On the Prowl
by nekked
Summary: Kidd takes the subject of finding a potential mate very seriously. We're talking the holding/feeding vessel of his future children, here. — Kidd/Jacqui
1. Boobs And The Like

**A/N:** _I do not own Soul Eater or any of its affiliated characters._

_Please enjoy~_

* * *

><p>Was it strange to think about boobs to this extent? Did other people think like this? It wasn't completely obscure, right? True, it hadn't entered Kidd's mind until recently that they were much more than yet another obstacle standing in the way of him achieving absolute perfection.<p>

Everywhere he looked; boobs, but most of them noticeably differentiating in size. And not only to the other boobs around them. As in, pairs of boobs were not the same size. As in one boob on a girl could be bigger than the other boob-

"Kidd," Liz said, breaking Kidd out of his concentration and giving him an annoyed look. "Stop staring at my boobs. It's the fourth time I've had to say this to you this week."

"Can't you get some sort of padding in your bra to make them even," he pleaded quietly, not able to take his eyes off of them. "They're just…they're just so…_wrong_."

"If my nails weren't currently drying I'd have half a mind to punch you until your face is 'wrong'," she seethed, veins ticking over her forehead. "Get out. Go do something. Enjoy the fact that we have some time to chill at home. Go get a book. Go play with Patty. Dear God, do SOMETHING besides sit there and critique my body."

And so he did. Kidd walked past his other manically laughing weapon in the hallway, busy finger painting a giraffe over a couple sheets of construction paper. He hurried onward to avoid vomiting at the sight. Too many curved lines, splatters and disregard for keeping the paint on the paper.

Kidd had been lucky growing up. His father had spared him the stork story and the awkward metaphor of birds and bees to explain how the mating process worked. Questions of boobs were also answered truthfully; babies are born, and they eat by sucking milk from them. Which also disturbed Kidd. Had his mother's breasts been symmetrical? Did she feed him with one breast more than the other? Was he a product of one breast instead of two? This would explain so much…

He moved up the steps of Shibusen, ignoring the usual muttering and pointing from transfer students and blushes from girls. He didn't bother looking at their breasts. The rest of them was already messed up enough. One girl had a side pony tail. Another wore her shirt partly untucked.

It was sickening. The only thing keeping him from tackling them and fixing their appearance was the memory of that one time a few years back when his father had the talk with him about sexual harassment. Another No Details Spared lecture.

The air of the library was soothing for the nerves, at least. Despite what he thought about dust and the general disdain he had for most things that aged, books were different. When open, they were very much symmetrical. And when he resisted counting the amount of words on each page, they were enjoyable to read.

_Boobs…I just don't understand…_

Death The Kidd was not above eventually finding a mate. He actually took it very seriously. Part of his job would be to eventually produce an heir of some sort (or 'grand-pup' as his father embarrassingly referred to it…).

Was it so wrong to try to find someone at least willing to comply with the laws of nature and keep things even and beautiful? Was someone on his level of clean that much to ask for?

_No son of mine…will be fed with different sized breasts._

It was a declaration of war. War on what nature considered natural. There had to be breasts, perfect breasts, out there somewhere-

Kidd rounded the corner of a large book shelf and felt himself collide with someone else. He looked startled and spluttered an apology as he scrambled to help the girl now sprawled on the floor surrounded by books. She pushed her bangs out of the way and glared at him before blinking in surprise.

"Kidd-kun?"

Jacqueline. That was her name, right?

"Please pardon my distractedness," Kidd murmured, the meaning of the sentence gaining a different dimension now that he was getting a good look at her.

_Leggings pulled up to the same height. Uniform's not sloppy. Skirt horizontal to the ground and at a reasonable length..._

"It's not a problem," she assured him, tucking her hair behind an ear and leaning down to pick up her things. He decided to forgive her for only using one ear since her hair looked kept…

"Here, let me," he offered, picking up a notebook that had fallen open. Her eyes widened when he blinked at the sketch on the open page.

"I…I draw a lot," she said quietly, taking it from his hands. He smiled.

"You're very good."

"Thanks."

They stood in silence for a moment.

_Eyes evenly spaced on the face with no outstanding eyelashes. Mouth doesn't look accustomed to smirking or changing facials a lot. Bangs are in order. Eyebrows are plucked with no out of place hairs. Bonus points: No jewelry to ruin the image…_

"Kidd-kun?"

"Hm?"

She looked at him strangely and blinked. "Are…you okay? Did I hurt you?"

"No, not at all…I…"

_Just a glance…_

It was too hard to tell under her uniform since he didn't dare let his eyes linger, but they looked acceptable. And to his trained eye, that was enough for now.

"I uh…was looking for a book."

"Uh-huh," she said, searching his face. "I suppose that's generally what people come to the library for."

Ouch. His face burned with humiliation.

"Yeah."

More silence.

"Um…I guess I'll see you around?" she offered, trying to squeeze around him and go back to whatever she had been doing. He nodded and moved aside for her.

He watched her go, awe struck at the fact that he finally got to initiate the last phase of his observations on a female specimen: and her ass passed.

Perhaps one of the more plain girls within Shibusen's walls had just become one of the most beautiful things Kidd had ever had the privilege of ogling.

Did he know when he might get to talk to her again under less awkward circumstances? No. But whatever it took, he was going to figure out a stage two for this…plan?

Yeah. He'd just go with that.

* * *

><em>Review if you're so inclined~ <em>


	2. Kim Helps Pro Bono

**A/N:** _I do not own Soul Eater or any of its affiliated characters._

* * *

><p>Well, he definitely wasn't very subtle. That's the thing Jacqui first noticed.<p>

It wasn't really anything new, boys piquing an interest in any girl, not necessarily Kim, hot off the adrenaline of a victory for their school. Especially the members of Spartoi. And somebody as high profile as Death the Kidd probably had semi-human urges every once in awhile.

The question was whether it would turn out differently this time.

In almost every other situation, the boy that had taken interest more or less got rejected in some sort of humiliating way. Or maybe rejected was too blunt a word.

The rejection itself never literally left Kim's lips. After weeks of having to buy her things and never getting so much as a thank you in return though, they usually stopped coming around. (Except Ox. He was just kind of a moron with the inability to fathom body language. Or the word 'no'. Though it was debatable whether Kim hated this...)

This might be a different story. He definitely wasn't ugly. And his mannerisms were very gentleman-like. Good hygiene. Not overly obnoxious unless he was having one of his panic attacks over whether he'd fixed the toilet paper into a square…triangle…octagon…whatever. She was never really close enough to care.

This might be a good thing for her.

"Kim," Jacqui said quietly, leaning over to her best friend, "I think Kidd-kun has a crush on you."

Kim stared at her, eye twitching. She really loved Jacqui, but sometimes she was a little daft.

"He's been staring at you in class ever since we got back from vacation. You should ask him."

"Jacqui, I don't think that's it."

"All he does is stare at you," the brunette continued, glancing over again. His eyes never seemed to leave the pinkette. "You haven't gotten a confession in awhile. Maybe he wants to."

"I don't think I'm his type," Kim muttered, utterly sickened by the depth of which her weapon's cluelessness had sunk to.

Contrary to Jacqui's beliefs, this is how it actually was going down: Kidd followed them. _Everywhere_. But he never actually looked at Kim. It was always at Jacqui.

Maybe it was because Kim and Jacqui stuck so close together, but Kim knew better. Death the Kidd was infatuated with her partner.

She had to admit it wasn't a mistake so farfetched of her to make. Despite Jacqui's beauty, she didn't get nearly as many suitors as the perhaps more striking meister. But Jacqui had some qualities that Kim could definitely see Kidd liking. She was intriguing. She didn't go out of her way to try to be that way, but it just kind of happened. Even Kim had a hard time completely understanding her at times.

Class ended and the subject was dropped, but Kim held back a little to make sure she wasn't crazy.

Oh. Yep. There he goes.

Jacqui made her way out the door, waiting for Kim in the hall. The pink haired girl watched with amusement as Kidd casually walked past her and turned to head down the hall. His momentary glance at her backside did not go undetected by the witch's green eyes.

_Whether you're socially retarded or just shy, I'm not sure, Kidd. But I'm feeling generous lately._

* * *

><p>"She has cello practice after school, and it's not far from here," Kim said, folding her arms and grinning slyly. "<em>Immediately after class.<em>"

"Why are you telling me this," Kidd asked, narrowing his eyes.

"I just figured you might want an opportunity to actually take your strange stalker tendencies in a different direction than they're going. Which is straight into a wall if you just continue to study her ass more than the lessons."

She appreciated that he had enough shame to blush and cringe at being found out.

"So you do like her?"

"I haven't really talked to her," he admitted, stuffing his hands in his pockets. "But she's probably the most beautiful girl I've ever seen."

Kim blinked in surprise.

"Wow. If you're brown nosing simply because I'm her friend you're doing a good job."

"It's the truth," he said seriously. "I've never seen someone so beautiful in their simplicity before. It's mind boggling. I could look at her all day."

Kim stared at him, a little creeped out.

"Let's just stick to calling her beautiful. And lay off on the stalking. Just, you know? Talk to her. She's nice. And she doesn't have a lot of guy friends."

She turned her green eyes to the ceiling and grinned. "I think you guy's would be cute. You just have to get to know her."

Kidd nodded and shifted his eyes to Kim's collar.

"Can you…fix that?" he asked, eyes sinking into his skull gradually. She raised an eyebrow and gave him a half lidded stare.

"You're so weird. Just remember; right after class. I'll ask you how it went later."

He watched her as she walked away, a trickle of sweat dripping down his neck at the fact that she'd ignored his request.

Time to go stare at Jacqui some more.

* * *

><p>"I've been playing since I was four," Jacqui affirmed, smiling a little and readjusting the handle of the the cello's carrying case in her hand. Kidd blinked in surprise.<p>

"So you can read music as well? That's amazing."

"Not really. It's necessary. Unless you're Soul-kun. He learns by sound most of the time. Though he can read music well. He's a genius."

Kidd couldn't argue with that. Soul was an excellent musician. Though, he supposed this resentment he felt that she had such high admiration for another guy other than himself was what jealousy felt like.

They walked in silence for a little longer and she glanced at his thoughtful gaze at the pavement.

"Kidd-kun, are you walking with me because you like Kim?"

Kidd fell over.

"ABSOLUTELY NOT," he yelled, gesturing wildly and giving her possibly one of the most pathetic looks she'd ever seen. She tried to cover her smile behind her hand.

"You don't have to be shy. A lot of guys talk to me if they want to get closer to Kim."

Kidd frowned deeply.

"That is not why I came with you. Kim is not the one I'm interested in."

Jacqui blinked. "Oh? Then-"

"Please do not count yourself out so easily," Kidd said quietly, looking a little hurt. He felt hypocritical since he hadn't even had the guts to talk to her without Kim's help, but she seemed too sure that nobody could have a real interest in her without an ulterior motive.

"I think you're very beautiful," he said with confidence, looking up to see they'd reached the building she practiced in. Her eyes widened as he turned to continue back the way they'd come.

"Kidd-kun."

He turned over his shoulder to see her wave awkwardly at him from the door. She sucked in her lips and the flicker of a blush passed over her face.

"I'll see you tomorrow." And then she was gone.

Kidd blinked his yellow eyes slowly and continued walking, a faint smile gracing his lips.

Guess that was an acceptable phase two.


	3. Misinterpretation

**A/N:** _I do not own Soul Eater or any of its affiliated characters._

* * *

><p>"He hasn't come out of his room yet today," Liz whispered to Maka, both of them standing outside the double doors leading into Kidd's room. The scythe meister cocked her head and frowned.<p>

"You said he's been acting strange lately. I'm...having a hard time," Maka started awkwardly, "thinking of weirder behavior for Kidd to have than the kind he's famous for."

Liz nodded vigorously. "That's what I'm _saying_. For Kidd to act _strange_, something's gotta be up. Otherwise I wouldn't have detected it."

"What is this 'strange' behavior, then," Maka asked. She was startled when, prompted by her question, Liz proceeded to whiz past her at lightning speed to retrieve a small book and what looked like a tape recorder.

"I've been keeping notes," Liz whispered, leading her friend into the room she and Patty shared to look over her case findings. "As soon as I felt something was up, I started keeping an extra close watch on him."

"That's nice of you, Liz," Maka said warmly, "To care about Kidd-kun's well being to that extent-"

"I think Kidd is gay for Soul," Liz burst out, blushing and flailing her hands a little. Maka's mouth dropped to the floor.

"WHAT?"

"It's all here," Liz gushed, eyes sparkling and hands flipping through pages of notes and letting pictures flutter onto her bed sheets. "I've caught him on camera staring longingly at him, every conversation we've had on the subject of Soul for the past three weeks, and THIS" she proclaimed, shoving the tape recorder in a shocked Maka's face, "is something I caught him saying to himself just yesterday."

"Is it a…_love confession_?" Maka breathed, almost too scared to hear the answer. Liz shook her head and narrowed her eyes.

"No, the bastard is too cautious to just admit something like that out in the open, but there's a cryptic beauty to the words he says…"

She pressed the play button and they both listened intently:

_"His piano playing is beautiful…to have the eyes I'd like most on me…ah, what strange bitter-sweet feelings…"_

"HE'S OBVIOUSLY IN AN EMOTIONAL STATE OF AGONY," the eldest Thompson sister cried, a spotlight appearing out of nowhere to highlight her glittering tears of sympathy for Kidd's plights. "HOW CAN I GIVE HIM MY SUPPORT IF HE CANNOT LET HIMSELF FREE FROM THE INVISIBLE CHAINS OF AN OVER JUDGMENTAL SOCIETY?"

"Right," Maka said with a dead pan face. "That whole statement just SCREAMED emotional basket case. It was way too vague to prove anything."

"All he does when he's with Patty and me is mope around, mumbling stuff to himself. I can count on _one hand_ how many times he's pointed out my hair part is uneven, Maka," she said in a low chilling voice. "That's alarming in this household."

"Alright," Maka sighed, shaking her head. "I'll ask Soul about it. I doubt Kidd is gay though. I mean-"

"Maka!" Kidd burst out happily, ignoring any potential privacy Liz might have needed and walking right into the room. His smile was huge.

"I can tell him myself later, but if you could just thank Soul for me for the invite to the jazz concert this Friday, that'd be great. I can't wait," he gushed, cheeks flush pink. Maka and Liz's faces could not have been more expressionless.

"Ah, yeah," the scythe meister said, smiling awkwardly. "I'll do that."

Kidd walked out of the room and Maka turned to Liz, eyes narrowed to slits.

"Okay. I want in on this investigation."

* * *

><p>"So…how's it goin' with Kidd?" Kim asked casually, tapping her pencil on the desk wood between herself and her partner. Jacqui looked up from her text book and blinked.<p>

"Um…I guess…okay?"

" '_Okay'_ as in like, 'Nothing's happened between us in the last few weeks of interaction', or '_okay'_ as in, 'We're totally into each other', or maybe your '_okay'_ implies, 'We already did it and it was so amazing I forgot to tell you about it'…"

"What are you going on about?" Jacqui asked, sweat dropping and letting her pencil fall to the table. "I fail to see how an 'okay' could be interpreted in most if ANY of those possibilities…"

"Well you already know he likes you," Kim huffed, giving Jacqui a concerned sort of look. "You guys aren't dating behind my back are you?"

"Kim," Jacqui seethed through embarrassed, tightly sealed lips, "Kidd-kun and I are friends. And…" she blushed furiously, "it isn't really an indicator that he likes me…at least, not like_ that_…just because he...uh…"

Her sentence trailed off and Kim was left to finish it.

"Thinks you're gorgeous?"

She didn't receive a reply.

"Listen you," Kim growled, "do not ruin this for yourself by going back to your weird comfort zone." Jacqui looked up as if to argue and Kim shut her up with a glare. "You are pretty and smart and if Kidd thinks you're hott…then I say go with it."

"He did not say I'm 'hott'," the more studious partner muttered, going back to studying.

"Doesn't he still walk you to practice?"

"I've only had it a couple times in the last few weeks," Jacqui replied tartly. "I practice mostly on my own and with Soul-kun to prepare for the concert."

"Does Kidd know about all the stuff you do with Soul?" Kim said, grinning wickedly.

"He does not, and it's really not any of his concern," Jacqui informed her friend. "We are not an item."

"But he wants to be," said her pink haired friend, leaning forward to emphasize her point, "and you're being a pussy and letting him float off in Insecurity Land."

Jacqui blushed and nearly touched her nose to the text book she was trying so hard to focus on. She sighed after a minute and whispered, "Then, what should I do."

"Hm?" Kim sounded out in a syrupy voice, "Can I take that as a confirmation that you might like him?"

No answer.

"Invite him to the concert," she suggested, as if the idea were completely novel. "I bet he's actually dying for you to ask him. Especially if he happens to know Soul's involved."

Jacqui blinked and stared at her homework. "That…that doesn't sound too hard…"

"_That's_ the spirit," encouraged her meister, copying some of Jacqui's answers onto her own work sheet. "And then we'll work from there, huh? Maybe he could even walk you home after."

"H-huh?" Jacqui quavered, pupils shrinking. "Isn't that like…a _date_?"

"Nah. If he doesn't spend money on you it doesn't count. _But_," the pinkette said slyly, "he might give you a kiss."

Jacqui's face started steaming in embarrassment. "Uh…a…kiss…"

"Yes, oh articulate one," Kim teased. "A kiss."

"Sorry to interrupt your studying," Soul said with pointed sarcasm, both of the girls looking up at him in surprise, "but I couldn't help noticing you were talking about the concert…"

"We stopped talking about that, like, forever ago," Kim huffed, narrowing her eyes suspiciously. "Did you seriously eavesdrop on our whole conversation?"

"Right. Forever ago meaning the few sentences you said between me coming out from that book shelf to talk to you," he retorted in defense. "I have pretty good hearing anyway. I tuned out most of your conversation."

"Whaddya want, Soul," Kim sighed, shaking her head. Jacqui blinked when he turned to her.

"I already asked Kidd to the concert since he's my friend, but he…uh…" the death scythe scratched his neck awkwardly, "he asked me to ask you what kind of flowers you like." As soon as it came out of his mouth, his eyes widened. "Oh. Shit. I wasn't supposed to tell you that he asked…"

"Are you retarded or something?" Kim asked incredulously. Jacqui didn't say anything, but she was getting tired of blushing.

"Well, just pretend I didn't say anything," Soul muttered, looking at his cellist again. "So what am I supposed to tell him?"

Kim stared at her, eyebrows raising in silent encouragement. Jacqui fidgeted and stuttered out, "Well…uh…I haven't really thought about it-"

"Tell him to get her red roses and the sexiest lingerie he can afford," Kim purred. "And I'll take a beach house if he's feeling extra generous."

"KIM," her weapon screamed, hands ready to wring her neck. Soul sweat dropped, watching them banter.

"Am I missing something here?" he asked when they'd paused, "Are you and Kidd, like, _together_?"

"No! He…I…" Jacqui couldn't quite come up with a word to sum up their relationship, but she kept a hand over Kim's mouth to avoid more misinterpretation. "We're friends."

"Eh. It's not really my business anyway," Soul said, shrugging and starting to walk away. "A dozen roses and an appointment with Blaire to discuss underwear. See you Friday, Jacko."

Jacqui withered and reached after him pathetically, Kim laughing in sadistic triumph.


	4. Concert Chaos

**A/N:** _I do not own Soul Eater or any of its affiliated characters._

* * *

><p>"Well, I myself never took Black Star for much of a musician, but apparently Soul's been teaching him how to play the saxophone and they incorporated him into the show," Tsubaki explained as she and Kim sat waiting for class to start. Kim blinked incredulously.<p>

"Wow. So even an idiot like that can play an instrument. Maybe I should look into drums or something…"

"He won't allow me to hear him play," Tsubaki continued with a small smile. "He practices when I'm not home and insists this entire thing has to be a surprise."

"Then I suppose we'll both get to see him tonight," Kim laughed. "I imagine he brags about how good he is, though…"

It was Tsubaki's turn to laugh now. "He is very predictable, isn't he." Her warm smile made Kim want to tease her, but she had a policy: sensitive one's like Tsubaki were allowed to go without her merciless prodding into their love lives. Instead, she nodded and watched Kidd walk up the aisle to where they were talking. He looked tired.

"How's it shakin', Kiddo."

"Kim, what am I supposed to wear tonight," he whispered intensely, eyes burning with stress. "I spent all night trying to figure out what would be appropriate and never came up with anything that wouldn't clash with Jacqui's perfection if I ever got the chance to stand beside her-"

"Whoa, whoa, slow down there," she said, wondering if he ever gave himself a break. And if not, how he kept himself from combusting. "I'm sure she won't care, whatever you wear."

Kidd's face fell, paling despite his already plaster white complexion. Kim spluttered hastily, "I mean, she'll appreciate the thought you put into it, but will probably care more about your presence than your outfit…"

"You're nervous about whether Jacqui-chan will like your outfit?" Tsubaki said with soft curiosity, her big eyes blinking out of sheer ignorance. Kidd nodded, pushing both hands up to rub at his eyes.

"I finally get this perfect opportunity to show my appreciation for her existence and I can't even pick out clothing that won't make me look like garbage. I'm useless." He sank into a slug like state, crying all over the floor and clawing his way up the aisle to where Harvar and Ox were conversing about the last test. They stopped and watched him pass until he reached his own seat. Kim snorted and shook her head.

"Before you ask, yes, he's got the hott's for Jacqui, and yes, I'm finding all of this completely entertaining."

"Poor Kidd-kun," the weapon said sympathetically, tearing up while watching him shakily pull himself up to slump against his desk, and then shook into harder sobs when he suspected more tears were coming out of one eye than the other. Kim shrugged and pointed out Jacqui coming through the door.

"Despite his emotional instability and ridiculous eccentricity, he worships the ground she walks on, and that's all I've ever looked for in the perfect guy for that girl. She's able to look past the weird stuff better than me, so if I could just make sure something nice happened between them…"

"I'm willing to help if you like," Tsubaki said cheerfully, raising a shy hand and blushing with excitement at the prospect of being included. Kim smiled warmly.

"You got something in mind?"

"Just a little something…"

* * *

><p>"This is Angel One, reporting in to Alpha Gun, over."<p>

"Alpha Gun in set position, requesting permission to go hit on the hot guy at the bar, over."

"Angel One denying request. Over."

"You suck, Maka," Liz's pouty voice pushed through the walkie talkie, turning around in her chair to see her friend's eye twitch in annoyance at the booth she'd reserved for their party.

"Get your ass over here and sit. You're annoying everyone. It's not packed yet, but you taking up an entire table so we can play spy games will get us kicked out eventually."

Liz snorted, then walked over to sit, swinging her boots over the rest of the cushion to save spots for people she deemed worthy. "So what's the dish before everyone gets here."

"Soul's been acting strangely," Maka said bluntly. "He went out _shopping_ the other day."

Liz's eyes bugged out in disbelief. "S-Soul? Shopping? I thought he hated that kind of stuff."

"Well, even if he does, I wouldn't have thought anything of it if I hadn't found_ this_," she said pointedly, taking the tiny, shiny purple bag out of her purse and throwing it on the table, "in his trash." Liz's jaw dropped at the loopy lettering on the bag.

"He went to buy LINGERIE?"

Maka smacked a hand over her mouth and shushed her, curious heads turning in their direction.

"Cool it. You're noisy. But yeah, it looks that way. Or even worse," the pigtailed meister continued darkly, "that place is known for selling other…_sensual items_."

Liz was sure she would start hyperventilating soon. "Did…did you look for what he might've bought?"

"I looked but I didn't find anything," Maka admitted solemnly. "I found the bag a few days after he'd gone out." She grimaced and brought her hands to her face. "For all we know he might've already used whatever he bought…"

Neither girl said anything, but they suspected each was imagining something completely inappropriate. And without saying anything, they had both probably included Kidd in the scenario.

"You…you have a nosebleed," Maka informed her associate. Liz gestured at Maka, who was also sporting the red badge of imagination.

They each rubbed their faces furiously, more friends coming through the door.

* * *

><p>Jacqui's hair was up in a modest bun, but Kim had helped her pick out a black dress that apparently accented her hourglass figure nicely. She sweat dropped, looking out over the gathered audience and wondering if Kidd thought it symmetrical enough for his tastes. Not that it mattered that much to her. She did like it herself. Sleeveless tube top dresses made it easier to move the arms, and she supposed being able to show off her pasty legs was a way of living dangerously…somebody might be blinded if the lights reflected off them…<p>

"I'M SO GLAD ALL OF YOU HAVE GATHERED HERE TONIGHT TO SEE EXCELLENT ME IN HIS FIRST OFFICIAL CONCERT," Black Star screamed into the mic, earning some groans and yells of displeasure. He was either choosing to ignore them or didn't understand he was hated. Neither option was surprising. Soul pushed his face away and cleared his throat.

"It's nice to see some familiar faces in the crowd, but a special thanks to people just coming out to see us perform. Jacqui and I have worked a long time on some of this stuff and…that guy over there just kind of does what he wants…thanks for being patient…"

"THEY'RE IMPATIENT FOR MORE OF MY MUSICAL GENIUS."

The blue haired moron flipped his sunglasses over his eyes despite the dim lighting, flashing a huge smile and blaring obnoxiously on his saxophone. He had been pleasantly in tune and had creativity everyone could appreciate while Soul and Jacqui were playing with him, but his solo was…killer.

"She's an angel," Kidd swooned with wide eyes, Kim rolling her eyes and then going back to looking around for Tsubaki. She hadn't showed yet, which was extremely odd without the added knowledge that Kidd's present to Jacqui was in her possession.

Then her green eyes caught swift movement near the door to the back stage. It was Tsubaki, decked in black and pale as wax paper. She managed to make it to the bar near the back of the venue where Kilik was waiting with his hands raised in question. Kim excused herself from Kidd to go investigate.

"What's going on," she hissed urgently, searching for the familiar shape of the present box. Tsubaki gulped and flitted her hands nervously.

"Please don't be mad at me, Kim-chan, I can explain…"

"This dork went to get flowers for all three of those guys," Kilik said bluntly, "and the lady who put them together wrapped your presents for free."

"Presents?" Kim said confusedly. "There was only one present…"

"Nah, I went with her to help out," he continued low and serious. "The lady used the same boxes to wrap the other two presents and wrapped them while we were picking out tags. We don't know which one is which. To make matters worse, Black Star intercepted us on the way back to their place and said they'd open them on stage in front of everyone."

"I DIDN'T WANT TO RUIN THE WRAPPING JOB," Tsubaki sobbed, inconsolable. "AND I THOUGHT BLAIR-CHAN KNEW WHAT SHE WAS DOING…"

"YOU WENT TO THE LINGERIE SHOP TO GET FLOWERS?!" Kim screeched.

"They have a lovely selection of roses," Kilik defended. "And she needed to pick out something nice for Black Star…"

"YOU AREN'T HELPING," Tsubaki squeaked, face deflating like a month old balloon. Kim was so speechless she wasn't sure she'd ever be able to speak again. Everyone jumped when the last song ended and Black Star's melodious bellow echoed through the small room…

* * *

><p>"PRESENTS FROM OUR FANS! YOU'RE ALL HERE TO WITNESS HOW MUCH EVERYONE LOVES ME."<p>

The boxes he confirmed were lighter than the one destined to be his were tossed to the other two performers on stage. While Jacqui took her time loosening the gold ribbon with care and a pleased blush, Black Star tore through his and pulled the lid away to reveal—

"…WHAT THE HELL KIND OF JOKE IS THIS, KIDD?"

He held up the heavily bejeweled red thong for all to see, Kidd's eyes popping like shorted light bulbs.

"YOU THINK I—"

"THOSE WEREN'T FOR YOU," Soul screamed, lifting his own gift of a leather crop and man thong, then dropping it to the stage floor with a clatter and girly shriek. "WHAT THE HELL IS THIS…"

Tsubaki groaned and cried waterfalls while Kilik fell over his stool laughing and Kim just stared at her like she couldn't quite fit all of Tsubaki in her mind's vision now.

"HE HAD IT FOR BLACK STAR TOO?!" Liz screamed, climbing over the table while Maka struggled to keep her down. "KIDD YOU ROTTEN TWO TIMER, CHERISH YOUR BOYFRIEND…"

"WHAT IS HAPPENI—" Black Star dove head first into the crowd for Kidd's throat before the shinigami had a chance to further question his set up.

Jacqui sat with her single, innocent silk handkerchief and watched the chaos.

_What in the world…is going on…_

* * *

><p><em><strong>AN:** Sooo~ it's been a while, eh? I'm going to finish this now, so please bear with me. I know you've all waited an unfair amount of time, but you won't be left out to dry anymore. I love you all for reviewing as well, I never dreamed this would even get as much support as it has. Kidd x Jacqui 5ever :')_


End file.
